Let's be honest...
We tell ourselves lies all the time. Since we believe them, we also expect others to believe them. Once in a while someone comes along who doesn't buy our BS and this person usually changes our lives forever. Whether it's a coach, parent, spouse, or friend, having someone who is unwilling to see us as anything besides the powerful, connected, potential-filled beings we are, inviting someone like this into our lives can be absolutely transformative. They teach us how to hold ourselves to a higher standard.
If you take a loot at the excuses you give to other people, and yourself, about why you don't have what you want, or your life isn't where you want it to be right now, there is a good chance you can be more honest about what is really going on. Let's take a loot at a few examples.
It's too hard.
When you say things like, "It's too hard." What are you really saying? What is it too hard for? It is possible that it might be too hard for you at this current moment, with your current skill level, but when you say that out loud, you are making an excuse to not try. A more honest statement might be, "I'm not willing to learn. Or, "I'm not willing to put in the effort."
If something is difficult and you're thinking of giving up, saying it's too hard is an easy way to let yourself off the hook. You could stick with it, learn how to do it, develop skills and pick up tricks along the way to make it easier, or you could throw in the towel.
I teach my clients all about how to effectively do this by shifting from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Believing that growth is possible is your ticket to never getting stuck in life. Learning how to apply the growth mindset to any and every situation will transform your attitude, perspective, and life.
I don't have time.
When you say you don't have the time, what you are really saying is that you don't want to make time for that because it is not your priority. AND THAYT'S OK! You are not going to be able to do everything in your lifetime. Chances are the person who invented the first steam engine didn't have time to become a professional ballroom dancer and an architect too....There ARE only so many hours in the day! What he did have though, was his priorities. He had time to invent the engine because he was focused. When people asked him why he wasn't writing a book his easy answer would have been "Because I don't have time!" but that's not quite honest. We all have the same amount of time and if one person has time to write, then technically we all do. The more truthful answer would l have been, "I am not writing a book because I am choosing to spend my time on developing this engine. Writing books, learning to dance, and doing architecture would take precious time away from what I would prefer to spend it on, which is developing my engine."
So, next time you're tempted to respond with "I don't have time" try saying "I'm sorry but that's just not a priority for m right now. " and see how that feels!
Have you ever made a purchase that was out of your budget? Or wanted something so bad you gave up something else in order to be able to afford it? Perhaps there was a pair of shoes you just HAD to have so you didn't eat out for 2 weeks in order to have the money to pay for them. Maybe your kids needed school supplies so you picked up a few extra shifts at work, then point I'm making is that we all have FOUND A WAY to make something work that seemed challenging, even impossible, because having it was a MUST. It was non-negotiable to us.When you have in your mind that you MUST have something, no matter what, your brain starts thinking about it differently. It shifts from something you want to something you have to have. This can be anything from a handbag to qualities in a partner. Regardless of what it is that you want if you can shift your mindset to making this thing a non-negotiable you you will figure out how to get it. You might not be able to see the way, you might not have any idea how it will happen but if you KNOW it WILL happen, then it will.When you spend money on something you HAVE TO HAVE you never feel like its too expensive. The cost doesn't matter, because you need it. Its like saying toilet paper is too expensive, so I'll just do without. No, I would never say that. It doesn't matter what I have to do, I will find the money to make sure that I always have TP available when I need it. When I pay for it I don't get upset because its a "waste of money" I gladly pay it because I require that my health and hygiene are kept up to a certain standard, it's not an expense I'm investing in my happiness.When you exchange money for things that you know will bring you joy, satisfaction, happiness, health, wellness, or any other good feeling what you are doing is making an investment. You are investing in your future, your energy, and your overall quality of life. When you exchange money for things you don't really want, you have an expense. I invest in my telephone service each month because I value staying connected and having a little computer in my pocket. I invest in my health by buying organic. I invest in my energy balance and wellness by getting massages. I invest in my quality of life by having a coach because I want to make sure I am making the biggest impact I can, and help the most people, and that makes me happy.When you say, "I can't afford it." or, "Its too expensive." What you are really saying is that it isn't worth the investment. It's just not important enough to you to figure out how to make it work. You don't need everything everyone else thinks you should have. You don't need a Lamborghini unless YOU really want one. I think a Lambo is too expensive. If I had the money available for one I would still think that because I don't really want it. It's not worth the investment to me. It might be worth it to you. Either way, its OK! We all have unique wants and needs and there is nothing wrong with wanting something different than anyone else.It's too expensive.